America Offers Its Best

America's Got Talent

America's Got Talent?

I watched the finals of America’s Got Freaks Tuesday night.  Not by choice, mind you; I was visiting Mom, and she insisted on watching for the first time only because she wanted to see the 10-year-old opera singer.  I proceeded to warn her about what she was about to see, and as the program started, I explained the viewers’ interest in the show a little further.  I think she believed this circus was some sort of musical talent showcase, and it’s not, as we saw in the season highlights at the beginning.  Drilling things through their heads and igniting explosives in their pants…talent?

None of the judges, I also pointed out, were qualified to judge musical performances, particularly classical music.  Sharon is Ozzy’s wife, Howie is a comedian…and Piers is a former editor of British tabloids…isn’t even an American judging America’s talent!

Prince Poppycock…perhaps the most freakish of the finalists we watched.  “B” for makeup, costumes & fantasy.  Voice was pleasant, but far from operatic caliber.  A bit deep & delusional when attempting to sell to the general reality-programming-addicted, simply-entertained public.

The little opera singer, Jackie Evancho, mimics developed opera singers’ voices, and did a good job.  A couple breathing & control issues, and a pitch concern near the end of her performance, but overall, a good job.  Her mass appeal, however, has more to do with her peculiarity.  How many, do you think, will buy tickets to the opera to see her perform in 10 or 15 years?

Saw the singer Grimm, and he was the most average of them all, turning in a Percy Sledge soundalike performance.  A much better shot, though, since he’s got the woeful backstory & tears-on-command going for him.  People still feel quite guilty about the whole New Orleans/Katrina episode.

That was it for us, though.  Mom couldn’t handle any more of the constant football stadium cheering and screaming, along with seizure-inducing lighting effects.  Besides, an entire hour spent on 4 two-minute performances?  You do the math.

And perhaps even more importantly, after the winner was announced the following day, the top ten start preparing for their tour!  Starting in October, 25 cities, with a host that lends a most appropriate level of substance and credibility – JERRY SPRINGER!

So, America – this is really the best you got.

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~ by John Krol on September 18, 2010.

One Response to “America Offers Its Best”

  1. Yep… big ratings for the show. I had students rushing out the door… couldn’t be late for their date with the couch and the girl with the blow hole. She had a big voice, that’s all 🙂

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